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I kept thinking about that moment, when the two of us were kissing. The heat—the passion—was still there, sitting inside my gut. It made me feel so…giddy. It felt like I was on my way to open Christmas presents. That moment with just the two of us… It was something I wanted to happen again…and again and again and again. It was a moment I wanted to share with him every minute of every hour of every day. Hopefully every night as well, but with even more sensuality. Love was one of those things that was introduced to Billy later in his life than for most people. Instead, he knew abandonment. The person who was supposed to love him most—his own mother—never loved him at all. It was so odd to me, that Billy had suffered through so much, and yet turned out to be so kind and compassionate. It was a sign of true strength. I hauled ass once I got home. Before getting in the shower, I chose some actually decent clothes to wear that wouldn’t make me look like some college girl skank. I. But your mom has already done that. She knows and accepts the fact that she is a painslut. She also knows that you approve of her in spite of that. Don't you see that she loves you in spite of what you are? If she can still love you, and I can still love you then you must not be so bad. You must learn to love yourself, Beverly."I want you to be a whore. I want you to be a painslut. But I also need you to love me even though I'm the kind of man that expects that from his woman. Honey, there have been a few times when I really unloaded on mom, and she took all that I had to dish out. Yet, I felt like shit after words. I would talk to mom about my feelings honestly, and she helped me to realize that as long as both parties agree to the activity, then there need not be any guilt by either person."When the opportunity arises, tell her how you feel. Listen to how she feels. Probe her thoughts and get her opinions. You'll both be better for it, and you'll both grow even closer. After all,.
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